The European Union Commission have announced that an agreement has been reached to adapt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phased plan for what will be known as Euro English.
In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard ‘c’ will be replaced by ‘k’. Not only will this klear up the konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. In addition, the ‘c’ in ‘chair’ and ‘church’ will be replaced by ‘s’ again. So, it will not kreate any more problems and we kan all have mush time saved.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be removed and in its plase, ‘f’ will be used konveniently.
This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.
Government will enkourage the removal of double leters, whish have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent ‘e’ in the languag is disgrasful and it would finaly go.
By the forth yer, people wil be respektiv to steps sush as replasing ‘th’ by ‘z’ and ‘w’ by ‘v’.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be droped from vords containing ‘ou’ and similar shanges vud of kours be applid to ozer kombination of leters.
After ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finaly kum tru.
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